[ He had the pack, he had Derek, he had power. None of the crippling feelings of being on the edge of a panic attack. He'd felt stronger and calmer all at once. ]
[ He leans back against the wall like he has something to say, absentmindedly scratching at the gap under his cast. ]
Think of every decision you and me ever took in your world and then change it, I mean, my life is completely made up of wrong turns and danger and mayhem. That's all I remember from him, is that he didn't have that because you guys worked it out. You stuck together.
Not anymore, but at the time, yeah. [ He shrugs, a little awkwardly. ] She was his anchor and we were just winging it. I mean literally relying on my research alone.
[ Rubbing the back of his neck. ] We didn't trust you. Your delivery wasn't so great. I'm kind of wondering how it ended up being different just because it was me.
[ Maybe Stiles hadn't wanted to cling to normality, maybe he'd needed the curse. ]
I offered and you turned me down. You and Scott came sniffing around, looking for Laura. But you came by yourself. You wanted me to explain everything to you.
I couldn't. I wasn't ready. But I told you I would help you. That it was a gift.
[He takes a moment]
Scott didn't want you to see me. He thought I killed Laura. I think you might have thought that too, at first? But you could smell my grief.
[ That ... that makes sense. He loves Scott like a brother but he knows he doesn't really understand what it's like to have someone die, to deal with the pain of losing someone completely. His dad's gone, but it's not the same and Stiles knows his friend doesn't really understand how it rips something out of you and puts you back together wrong. ]
The first full moon, you asked Scott to tie you to a radiator, but he didn't, and so you ended up in the woods. I found you before Peter did, and I helped you back to my place, and we talked.
And you agreed to let me help you. And you helped me.
[ He breathes out, feels something settle inside of him. It's not like he can go back and change anything, it's not like he can fix this. He has to keep moving forward. ]
It makes sense. It's Scott, so I'm automatically protective of him, but I guess if it were me - well hey, I already have a weakness for guys in leather. Scott not so much.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Do you think I'm from some sort of fantasy world?
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Do you remember you? What you were like?
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Like I was safe.
[ He had the pack, he had Derek, he had power. None of the crippling feelings of being on the edge of a panic attack. He'd felt stronger and calmer all at once. ]
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[Derek's eyes flash red for a moment, at the thought Stiles might now be.]
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Think of every decision you and me ever took in your world and then change it, I mean, my life is completely made up of wrong turns and danger and mayhem. That's all I remember from him, is that he didn't have that because you guys worked it out. You stuck together.
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[He's not judging, he's trying to figure out where things went wrong]
They are, right? Dating?
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[ Because he had you arrested, oops? ]
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Didn't I offer?
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[ Rubbing the back of his neck. ] We didn't trust you. Your delivery wasn't so great. I'm kind of wondering how it ended up being different just because it was me.
[ Maybe Stiles hadn't wanted to cling to normality, maybe he'd needed the curse. ]
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I was angry.
I offered and you turned me down. You and Scott came sniffing around, looking for Laura. But you came by yourself. You wanted me to explain everything to you.
I couldn't. I wasn't ready. But I told you I would help you. That it was a gift.
[He takes a moment]
Scott didn't want you to see me. He thought I killed Laura. I think you might have thought that too, at first? But you could smell my grief.
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Well, I totally am the smarter one.
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And you agreed to let me help you. And you helped me.
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It makes sense. It's Scott, so I'm automatically protective of him, but I guess if it were me - well hey, I already have a weakness for guys in leather. Scott not so much.
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Scott doesn't like me on the best of days.
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[ Sitting on the counter. ] Even I know that.
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[Wait.]
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I don't know how this crap works, Derek. I'm not a werewolf. And you're not free with the knowledge. Not to me.
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[Alone.]
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. /latelatelatelatelate
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