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[lupusalpha]

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[studmuffin]

Can I be your John Watson, Sherlock?

[ He shouldn't be baiting him like this, but maybe he is, maybe being stuck like this in Derek's sphere and not getting where half of the rigidity in Derek's spine is coming from is causing this prickling sensation in his own. ]

[lupusalpha]

Get your shoes on.

[studmuffin]

That was rhetorical, but hey, do you even have a magnifying glass?

[ Scrambling for his shoes. ]

[lupusalpha]

No.

[He was ignoring your dumbness]

We're going into the City.

[studmuffin]

[ Oh, that City that was on fire for a while there? ]

Why?

[lupusalpha]

Because you need witnesses if I decide you're annoying me enough that I kill you.

[Derek is trying to do you a favor, asshole.]

[studmuffin]

That's almost sweet for you.

[ Eagerly moving toward the door. ]

[lupusalpha]

Come on, we're going to take a look around the woods first.

[studmuffin]

If we see a werebear, I'm going to flip my shit, just so you know.

[lupusalpha]

Where did you get this idea?

[studmuffin]

From a hot mechanic.

[ So hot. ]

[lupusalpha]

You should have attached yourself to her, then.

[Oh, a stream. Derek looks at Stiles then at the water]

I can jump over it.

[studmuffin]

I think the deities wanted me to suffer, dude.

[ Do not dare, Derek Hale. He will probably fall in. ]

[lupusalpha]

And I'm what? Collateral damage?

[Now he's jumping B|]

[studmuffin]

[ He's not far enough from Stiles to have any immediate reaction, so Stiles is trying to find a route that doesn't involve him being yanked through by the crazy magic going down. ]

You don't like me, so becoming your shadow for two weeks is probably awesome payment.

[lupusalpha]

Just jump, Stiles.

[studmuffin]

You totally think I was blessed by the co-ordination fairy, don't you.

[ He huffs though, taking a step back, before jumping. Complete with pinwheeling arms. ]

[lupusalpha]

[He snorts]

No, but I figure you don't want to get dragged through.

[studmuffin]

[ Frowning at him. ]

Why are we exploring the woods again?

[lupusalpha]

Territory.

[studmuffin]

Please tell me you're not about to pee on the trees.

[lupusalpha]

Do you want to deal with werebears or not?

[No he's not going to pee on trees]

[studmuffin]

Are they seriously a thing?

[lupusalpha]

I didn't think werelizards were a thing.

[In other words, Derek hasn't read the bestiary in Peter's secret laptop.]

[studmuffin]

[ Point. ]

So we just wander around so it can smell us?