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[lupusalpha]

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[studmuffin]

They both had some crazy idea stuck in their head.

So could it happen? Like thought rabies.

[lupusalpha]

What ideas?

[studmuffin]

They thought we were involved in some serious romeo and juliet shit.

[ HA HA HA HA. ] Isaac told Scott and Scott got all weird in my face.

[lupusalpha]

[SILENCE]

Excuse me.

[studmuffin]

[ Shrugging.

HE DOESN'T GET IT EITHER DEREK. ] I blame Isaac.

[lupusalpha]

Isaac thinks we're in love.

[studmuffin]

Or having weird werewolf sex. Scott wasn't super clear.

[lupusalpha]

[Derek just goes silent for a minute]

I'll kill them both.

[So calm.]

[studmuffin]

Wow.

[ Seriously. ]

Wow, that's super rational of you. I'm so glad to have you Derek, seriously. Super happy you're in total control of all situations.

[lupusalpha]

You aren't allowed to say that. You're a minor.

[Wow. Just. Wow.]

They're both insane. [CLEARLY.]

[studmuffin]

There's no rule that says I can't talk about sex.

[ WHAT. ]

[lupusalpha]

Not sex with me.

[studmuffin]

Well, I'm pretty sure there's not a law saying I can't talk about it. It's like wanting to bang Ryan Gosling. Nobody's been arrested for that yet.

[lupusalpha]

You have a thing for Ryan Gosling?

[studmuffin]

[ Wide eyed. ]

People can not have a thing for Ryan Gosling?

[lupusalpha]

Most people, I would imagine.

[studmuffin]

I thought he was sexiest man of the year. [ Clicking his fingers, sarcasm obvious. ]

That's what I get for not paying attention.

[lupusalpha]

Do you ever make sense?

[studmuffin]

Nope.

[ DEREK, IT'S OKAY. YOU'RE SEXIEST MAN OF THE YEAR. ]

[lupusalpha]

I didn't think so.

[studmuffin]

You're not really going to grind Isaac's bones to make your bread for implying you're a wolf with different tastes, right? Not bone bread ... Wait, definitely bone bread.

[lupusalpha]

Stiles, let me make this clear. My tastes are none of yours or the pack's business.

Also, there is nothing that Isaac can imply that would make it worth my time to cut his throat, especially if it has something to do with you.

[studmuffin]

[ Stopping. ] Jeez, lighten up.

[ He really doesn't understand Derek sometimes. ] We've never seen you with anyone! Of course there's going to be speculation. We haven't got anything better to do. It's not like you can get TMZ on here. Besides, if you're gonna - uh - mate? Then we totally need to know. It would blow up the whole dynamic. Nobody would think you were running a drug ring anymore.

[lupusalpha]

Did you just use the word mate?

[studmuffin]

Scott made me research it when he and Alice started getting it on. [ Eyebrow wriggle. ]

So you don't?